A Sense of Humor About the "Tumor"
So let me just start off by saying how very proud I am of the title of this post :) it came to me like a lightning bolt. It rings true for me on so many levels right now. Sometimes when it comes to cancer, you just have to laugh. There are so many ridiculous potions and overnight cures and funny experiences in doctors' offices and medical advice that it's downright hilarious! I've had some experiences at an alternative immunotherapy clinic that had me crying with laughter. Let's just say: never fart in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber. Yes, you might survive the experience and provide great comedic relief for all parties involved. But being trapped in an airtight cylindrical tube with poisonous gas for an hour is ultimately not something I'd recommend. Furthermore, I've had people tell me to insert things up my ass that you wouldn't even believe and I've also had someone ask me to pay 30 thousand dollars for treatment that he told me upfront would probably kill me in the process. Anyhow, my point is that even though cancer can make people very scared and serious, some parts of it can be very funny. This brings me to an experience I had very recently with my hospice doctor. For the past few months, a mass has developed on the right lower side of my back that we all assumed was a tumor. The only thing weird was that it would flare up and get larger and then shrink back down again which are not characteristic signs of a standard tumor. The doctor's best explanation was that it was inflammation around the tumor that would come and go. And then the tumor started to grow. Like really freaking fast. It eventually became the size of a football on my back and was hot and SO painful. I thought surely this was the end of me. There's no way I could live with a tumor of that magnitude. The doctor looked at it and said it was most definitely a solid mass and there was nothing she could do. During my meditation that evening, I prayed for relief. And when I sat up from my meditation, I felt a warm liquid running down my back. The entire "tumor" was leaking the most awful, thick light brown puss I had ever seen in my life. Over two cups of this liquid came out over the next couple of days and I am still leaking to this day about a week later. It's a real pain keeping the area clean around the clock and there are many parts of this that are very not funny, but there is one thing that is VERY funny. And that is the fact that the doctor was dead wrong about the "tumor." It was actually just a massive rotten pimple with two humongous heads, doc. Haha!