The C Word

For me, the "C Word" not only stands for cancer, but also for Control.  I am a self-professed control freak in recovery.  It is very hard for me to surrender decision making and creative control to another human being.  And right now, I'm in the process of moving into a new apartment with my mom which is pushing my "C" button like crazy!  Let me tell you...we both have very strong opinions about how we like things done and are incredibly hard-headed.  Also, I want everything to be so perfect that it takes me longer than I would like to make decisions about wether to keep stuff, sell it, give it away, etc.  And it's so silly because it's just stuff!  So luckily, I have enlisted the help of my friend who is an organizational genius to help me out for a day.  i shall surrender myself to her.  And also, I shall soften my vibration around this whole thing.  I've been really into Abraham-Hicks lately and she's all about energetic vibration.  If I continue to vibrate at a low-frequency energy around this whole thing, I will continue to attract that energy.  But if I can find joy in this process and align with a higher vibrational energy, my entire experience of moving will be elevated.  At the same time as this move is happening, I am looking into cancer treatment options and am consulting with a clinic I used to go to this Friday.  I feel a sense of uncertainty around that as well as I am unsure what my best option is at this point.  There are so many different opinions about the best way to go about treating my particular situation.  It can be very overwhelming at times.  So my "C" button gets pushed in that arena as well as I struggle to maintain some level of certainty in a very uncertain situation.  But, despite it all, I still consider myself to be doing very well.  I still at the end of the day am able to focus on Love rather than fear.  I am putting my full attention on the things that absolutely light me up like improv, laughter, great food, yoga, friends, family, and generally attempting to be a decent human being on this Earth.  Winning :)

Blissful Zero